Translation

Group 1

Titis D Rachmawati

Danang Satrio

Nourma Yufianti

Notes:

SL is the Source Language, i.e. Indonesian.

TL 1 is the Target Language translated literally (may be translated using google translate, but do not forget to edit it).

TL II is the Target Language translated idiomatically (referring to the English translation done by the translator of Dalang Publishing).

Analysis is your examining both the TL I and TL II which is done mainly by comparing both of them to find out the differences.

Gusti, Doa Siapa Yang Akan Kaudengar?

Mas Agung adalah kakak tertua kami. Sepeninggal Bapak, Mas Agung menjadi pengganti Bapak. Ibu senang bahwa kami, tujuh bersaudara, tetap rukun seperti halnya pada saat Bapak masih ada. Tentu hal itu tidak lepas dari kepemimpinan Mas Agung. Maka ketika kakaknya Ibu, Budhe Mujirah, mendapat masalah, dan aku tidak sanggup membantu menyelesaikan masalahnya, tidak bisa tidak tumpuan kami ada pada Mas Agung.

Ya, aku pun menulis surat untuknya.

***

Purworejo, 10 Maret 2005

Mas Agung yang baik,
Bila tidak karena Budhe Mujirah, aku tidak akan menulis surat ini, Mas. Sebenarnya sudah sejak sepekan yang lalu beliau memintaku untuk mengirimimu surat, tapi baru kali ini aku bisa. Bukan karena sibuk tetapi karena aku harus menata hati terlebih dulu. Ya, ini tentang langgar kita.

Sejak Bapak wafat, aku memang tidak terlalu memperhatikan apa yang sudah dilakukan warga pada surau yang didirikan eyang buyut kita itu. Dan, kurangnya perhatian yang kuberikan adalah karena tampaknya keluarga kita semua setuju, bahkan merasa senang, dengan apa yang telah dilakukan warga terhadap langgar Eyang. Pernah kukatakan padamu kalau sikapku itu, selain karena Mas dan adik-adik semua sudah setuju, juga karena kesadaran betapa kita tidak bisa apa-apa. Selain itu, juga mungkin kita semua punya kekhawatiran bakalan dicap oleh warga kampung sebagai orang yang tidak setia pada agamanya.

Aku memang setuju-setuju saja pada rencana warga yang dipimpin oleh Pak Lurah, yang juga Pak Kiai kita, untuk memugar langgar yang sudah berdiri jauh sebelum negeri kita merdeka. Kita sendiri waktu itu terlalu miskin untuk memperbaiki langgar kita; untuk agak menutupi kemiskinan kita, biasanya kau menyamarkannya dengan bilang pada Pak Lurah kalau kita harus mendahulukan mana yang lebih penting.

→	→	→
SL	TL I	TL II
Gusti, Doa Siapa Yang Akan Kaudengar?	Lord, whose prayer will You listen to?	Lord, Whose Prayer Will You Listen To?
Analysis: In writing tittle of a certain text, we must consider the way to do, for example we must capitalize  cach word.
Mas Agung adalah kakak tertua kami.	Mas agung is our oldest brother.	Mas agung is our eldest brother.
Analysis: We need to know why the translator uses present tense neither past tense. Beside, we need to consider the usage of eldest and oldest
Sepeninggal Bapak, Mas Agung menjadi pengganti Bapak.	After my father’s death, mas agung becomes the replacement of my father.	After our father passed away, Mas Agung stepped up to fill his role.
Analysis: Sepeninggalan bapak should not be translated after my fsther’s death. Instead, it should be translated after our father passed away. It is because the formality of language usage.
Ibu senang bahwa kami, tujuh bersaudara, tetap rukun seperti halnya pada saat Bapak masih ada.	Mother was happy that we, seven siblings, stay harmonious like when father still there	Mother was glad to see that all of us, seven siblings, maintained the same harmonious relationships we’d had during the time Father was still around.
Analysis: In this sentence, why senang translated glad than happy. Because glad is expresses happiness, which really has a reason
Tentu hal itu tidak lepas dari kepemimpinan Mas Agung.	Of course it is not loose from leadership of Mas agung.	This, of course, could only happen under the guidance of Mas Agung.
Analysis: Used guidance than leadership
Maka ketika kakaknya Ibu, Budhe Mujirah, mendapat masalah, dan aku tidak sanggup membantu menyelesaikan masalahnya, tidak bisa tidak tumpuan kami ada pada Mas Agung.	So when Mother’s sister, Budhe Mujirah, got into problem, and I was unable to help resolve the problem, we could not help but rely on Mas Agung.	Therefore, when Mother’s older sister, Budhe Mujirah, faced a problem I could not help her with, it was only natural that I turned to Mas Agung.
Analysis: got into problem can be changed into faced a problem. It is because faced a problem more acceptable and more polite than got into problem. It was only natural that I turned to Mas Agung more acceptable because the usage of past tense.
Ya, aku pun menulis surat untuknya.	Yes, I wrote a letter to him.	Hence, I wrote him a letter.
Analysis: “Ya” not must be translated “yes”, but also “ya” translated “hence”  But hence more referring to karenanya
Purworejo, 10 Maret 2005	Purworejo, March 10 2015	Purworejo, March 10, 2015
Analysis: The date writing format correct in English is Purworejo,March 10,2015.
Mas Agung yang baik,	Dear mas Agung	Dearest mas agung
Analysis: Why TL 2 used dearest than dear. It is because dear is noun and dearest is adjective.
Bila tidak karena Budhe Mujirah, aku tidak akan menulis surat ini, Mas.	If it not because of Budhe Mujirah, I will not write this letter, Mas.	If it were not for Budhe Mujirah, I wouldn’t bother you.
Analysis : wouldn't bother you is more acceptable because the usage of past tense and wouldn't bother means tidak akan mengganggu, it is acceptable because write a letter to Mas Agung can bother him.
Sebenarnya sudah sejak sepekan yang lalu beliau memintaku untuk mengirimimu surat, tapi baru kali ini aku bisa.	Actually, since last week she asked me to send you a letter, but only this time I can.	Actually, she asked me to write to you last week.
Analysis: to send you a letter can be changed to write to you because it is more effective and acceptable.
Bukan karena sibuk tetapi karena aku harus menata hati terlebih dulu. Ya, ini tentang langgar kita.	Not because it's busy but because I have to set my heart first. Yes, it's about our langgar.	not because I was busy. I had to sort out my own feelings first, as this is about our langgar.
Analysis: Sort out my own feelings first more acceptable because menata more suitable to sort out than set in this sentence and hati more suitable to feelings than heart because heart more often use in the organ of  body.
Sejak Bapak wafat, aku memang tidak terlalu memperhatikan apa yang sudah dilakukan warga pada surau yang didirikan eyang buyut kita itu.	Since Father passed away, I really did not pay too much attention to what the villagers had done to surau that our great-grandfather had established.	Since Father passed away, I haven’t paid too much attention to what the villagers did to the prayer house that was built by our great-grandfather.
Analysis: Why that was built more acceptable because it is more often use in building or house and the example of the using of the word established in company or school.
Dan, kurangnya perhatian yang kuberikan adalah karena tampaknya keluarga kita semua setuju, bahkan merasa senang, dengan apa yang telah dilakukan warga terhadap langgar Eyang.	And the lack of attention I gave because it seems that our families all agree, even feel happy, with what the villagers have done to Eyang's Langgar.	This lack of concern came from the assumption that our family seemed to agree—was happy even—with the changes the villagers were making to Eyang’s langgar.
Analysis:
Pernah kukatakan padamu kalau sikapku itu, selain karena Mas dan adik-adik semua sudah setuju, juga karena kesadaran betapa kita tidak bisa apa-apa.	I once told you that my attitude, besides because Mas and all of our siblings had all agreed, also because of the awareness of how we could do nothing.	I once told you that I took such a stand because you and everyone else seemed to approve. I also realized there wasn’t much we could do.
Analysis:
Selain itu, juga mungkin kita semua punya kekhawatiran bakalan dicap oleh warga kampung sebagai orang yang tidak setia pada agamanya.	Besides that, maybe we have worries. Villagers will be judged as person who are not loyal with religion	Perhaps we were all afraid to be considered apostates of our religion
Analysis:  Used afraid than worries because afraid  refers to a high sense of concern than worries.
Aku memang setuju-setuju saja pada rencana warga yang dipimpin oleh Pak Lurah, yang juga Pak Kiai kita, untuk memugar langgar yang sudah berdiri jauh sebelum negeri kita merdeka.	I am agree with the plan of the peole who leader by pak lurah which is also our pak kyai, to restore the langgar that was built  long before our country was independent	I had no qualms about the villagers’ remodeling plans for the langgar, under the leadership of our lurah, who also is our Pak Kiai. To improvements made to a langgar that was built long before the independence of our country
Analysis: TL 2 used independence than independent. It is because independent in translated is mandiri and independence translated is merdeka.
Kita sendiri waktu itu terlalu miskin untuk memperbaiki langgar kita; untuk agak menutupi kemiskinan kita, biasanya kau menyamarkannya dengan bilang pada Pak Lurah kalau kita harus mendahulukan mana yang lebih penting.	We when that time too poor to improve our langgar, to cover our situation, you usually disguise it by telling pak lurah if we have to prioritize which is more important	we were too poor to shoulder the expenses ourselves. In order to conceal our financial situation, you told the lurah we needed to prioritize the execution of repairs.
Analysis:

Group 2

Novita Sari

Alfiah DH Noora

Rizky N Rahmawati

Notes:

SL is the Source Language, i.e. Indonesian.

TL 1 is the Target Language translated literally (may be translated using google translate, but do not forget to edit it).

TL II is the Target Language translated idiomatically (referring to the English translation done by the translator of Dalang Publishing).

Analysis is your examining both the TL I and TL II which is done mainly by comparing both of them to find out the differences.

Paling-paling kita menjaga supaya atapnya tidak bocor dan rayap – yang mampu menembus lantai tegel – tidak naik merambati dinding menghabisi usuk dan reng; setahun sekali kita kapur temboknya, dan sekitar sepuluh tahun sekali kita cat semua kayu-kayunya. Ya, seingatku cuma itu.

Dana keluarga kita memang sudah habis untuk biaya kuliah kita tujuh bersaudara. Ibu memang menghendaki kita semua menjadi orang terpelajar, menjadi sarjana. Kita anggap dana itu sudah habis, karena selain menyekolahkan kita, Ibu harus selalu memiliki uang simpanan untuk biaya perawatan kesehatan Ibu sendiri; apa lagi, sekarang Ibu makin mudah sakit.

Maka ketika Pak Kiai rawuh ke tempat kita dan minta izin untuk mengganti genting kuno itu dengan genting pres sokka, kita semua setuju dan berkali-kali mengucapkan terima kasih. Genting kuno itu memang sebagian sudah kita ganti dengan genting yang lebih baru. Namun, genting yang lebih baru itu ukurannya tidak sama dengan genting yang dulu dipasang oleh Eyang. Dengan bermacam-macam jenis genting yang kita pasang untuk mengganti genting lama yang sudah aus atau pecah tentu berakibat kurang baik. Kalau hujannya deras akan tempias, dan menyebabkan para jamaah sesekali mengusap wajahnya karena risi kena kepyuran air dari atap.

Kebanyakan dari kita memang tinggal dan bekerja di Jakarta. Saudara-saudara sekandung kita lainnya tidak ada satu pun yang tinggal bersama Ibu menjaga langgar kita di Purworejo, kota tempat kita semua dilahirkan.

→	→	→
SL	TL I	TL II
Paling-paling kita menjaga supaya atapnya tidak bocor dan rayap – yang mampu menembus lantai tegel – tidak naik merambati dinding menghabisi usuk dan reng; setahun sekali kita kapur temboknya, dan sekitar sepuluh tahun sekali kita cat semua kayu-kayunya. Ya, seingatku cuma itu.	At least we kept the roof from leaking and prevented the termites - which are able to penetrate the floor of the tiles - do not climb up against the walls to kill usuk and battens; once a year we chalk the walls, and about ten years we paint all the wood. These are the only things I can remember.	At least we kept the roof from leaking and prevented the termites that managed to crawl out from under the floor tiles from destroying the walls. These are the only things I can remember.
Analysis:  [penetrate] >> [ ... ] menembus is not translated. it is because managed to crawl out covers the word penetrate. [...] that managed to crawl out from under the floor tiles from destroying the walls is more effective than which are able to penetrate the floor of the tiles - do not climb up against the walls to kill usuk and battens; once a year we chalk the walls, and about ten years we paint all the wood. And TL 1 is too wordy.
Dana keluarga kita memang sudah habis untuk biaya kuliah kita tujuh bersaudara.	Our family funds have indeed been used up for our seven siblings.	The education of the seven of us had depleted our family funds.
Analysis: have indeed been used up can be changed into had depleted our family funds. To deplete means to exhaust money. So, had depleted is more acceptable.
Ibu memang menghendaki kita semua menjadi orang terpelajar, menjadi sarjana.	Mother always wanted us become scholar.	Mother always wanted to see us become well-educated people with university degrees.
Analysis: become scholar can be changed into become well-educated people with university degrees. Because scholar means student who has been given a scholarship to attend university, and become well-educated people with university degrees means people who have highly educated with study in university. So, become well-educated people with university degress more acceptable.
Kita anggap dana itu sudah habis, karena selain menyekolahkan kita, Ibu harus selalu memiliki uang simpanan untuk biaya perawatan kesehatan Ibu sendiri; apa lagi, sekarang Ibu makin mudah sakit.	We assume that funds have already spent completely, because aside from providing for our education, mother always save money for funding herself, as her health is beginning to decline.	Aside from providing for our education, our family savings also funds care for Mother, as her health is beginning to decline.
Analysis: [....] aside from providing for our education, our family savinga alao funds care for mother, as her health is beginning to decline is more affective than we assume that funds have alreafy spent completely, because aside from provising for our eduation, mother always save money for funding herself, as her health ia beginning to decline. Then TL 1 is too faithful and too wordy.
Maka ketika Pak Kiai rawuh ke tempat kita dan minta izin untuk mengganti genting kuno itu dengan genting pres sokka, kita semua setuju dan berkali-kali mengucapkan terima kasih.	So,when Pak Kiai visited our place and asked permission for replace the old roof tiles with new,factory-made tiles,we   agreed and thanked him over and over again.	So, when Pak Kiai visited and asked permission to replace the old roof tiles with new, factory-made tiles, we immediately agreed and thanked him over and over again.
Analysis : To replace between fo replace, more acceptable to replace because followed by a verb but if for must be followed by nouns ( for replace ). Not use immediately because we agreed the mean is kita semua setuju but if use we immediately agreed   the mean is kita tiba-tiba setuju
Genting kuno itu memang sebagian sudah kita ganti dengan genting yang lebih baru.	At some, we did replace some of the newer roof tiles.	At some point, we did replace some of the original old roof tiles.
Analysis :  we use  The newer roof tiles because the meaning of newer is original and of a kind not seen before ( fresh,new)
Namun, genting yang lebih baru itu ukurannya tidak sama dengan genting yang dulu dipasang oleh Eyang.	However, the newer tiles are not the same size as the one that the grandparent once installed.	However, the size of the new tiles was different.
Analysis: […] the size of the new tiles was different from the timeworn is more effective than the newer tiles are not the same size as the one that the grandparent once installed. And TL 1 is too wordy. Eyang is not translated because eyang refers to grandparent in Javanis language.
Dengan bermacam-macam jenis genting yang kita pasang untuk mengganti genting lama yang sudah aus atau pecah tentu berakibat kurang baik.	With the various types of precarious we install to replace the old tiles that are worn or broken, of course the result is not good.	from the timeworn, broken ones, and this, of course, created a problem.
Analysis: From the timeworn, broken ones, and this, of course, created a problem is more effective than with the various types of precarious we install to replace the old tiles that are worn or broken, of course the result is not good. And TL 1 is too wordy. Worn means usang can be changed into timeworn means aus. So, timeworn is more acceptable.
Kalau hujannya deras akan tempias, dan menyebabkan para jamaah sesekali mengusap wajahnya karena risi kena kepyuran air dari atap.	If it rains heavily, it will cause the congregation to rub their face from time to time because they are hit with water from roof.	When it rained hard, water would seep through and drip on people’s heads, making them wipe their faces uncomfortably.
Analysis: When it rained hard, water would seep through and drip on people’s heads, making them wipe their faces uncomfortably is more effective than if it rains heavily, it will cause the congregation to rub their face from time to time because they are hit with water from roof. And TL 1 is too wordy. Congregation means a group of people assembled for religious worship but in this text congregation can be changed into people.
Kebanyakan dari kita memang tinggal dan bekerja di Jakarta.	Most of us do live and work in Jakarta.	As you know, most of us live and work in Jakarta now.
Analysis: As you know, most of us live and work in Jakarta now is more acceptable than Most of us do live and work in Jakarta because TL 1 not explain the condition clearly.
Saudara-saudara sekandung kita lainnya tidak ada satu pun yang tinggal bersama Ibu menjaga langgar kita di Purworejo, kota tempat kita semua dilahirkan.	Our other brothers and sisters no one lives with mother to guard our langgar in Purworejo, the city where we are all born.	None of us stayed in Purworejo, where we were all born, to live with Mother and take care of our langgar. not live too far from Mother.
Analysis: Our other brothers and sisters no one lives makes the readers confused so none of us stayed more acceptable. Guard means a person who keeps watch, especially a soldier or other person formally assigned to protect a person or to control access to a place can be changed into take care.